THE LOVE STORY:How To Deal With Odd Sexual Requests
If your partner wants weird sex what should you do? How do you know if a new lovemaking position, or a new sex toy, or any kind of sex you haven't tried before is a reasonable request or not? Videojug recommends the following steps to keeping sex-life embarrassment to a minimum….
- Step 1:
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Where did that come from?
- Nobody knows your partner like you do. Could this sex request just be a way of opening up a tricky conversation about your love life? If you think so, why not turn the specific request into a more general sex conversation about your turn-ons and turn-offs? After all, they started it...
- Step 2:
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Keeping an open mind
- Make a judgement, before you discount anything. Is the kind of sexual activity they have asked for:
A) Silly and endearingly daft?
B) Not something you'd think up yourself?
C) Frightening, illegal, cruel to animals, likely to land you in hospital, contrary to public health, or the preserve of disgraced political figures?
C) speaks for itself, and your partner needs to know in very certain terms that that dish is not on the menu tonight or any night.
But things which are only A) or B) might require a bit more thought. Dismissing sex activities only because they are not already in your sexual repetoire is no basis for a good, communicative love life. How are you going to know if you like something if you don't experiment? You can always give something a whirl once- and have a 'safe word' that brings all near the knuckle activity to an instant stop. - Step 3:
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Politely declining
- If you have any doubts about a request, because you need more information, or need time to gather your thoughts, then decline for now. But perhaps it might be prudent, and kind, to do that research on your own- you know how gossip spreads...
Or you could compromise
No to root vegetables, but Yes to chocolate sauce,
No to toe-sucking, but Yes to a foot massage
Yes to a riding crop, No to a saddle. - Step 4:
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Be sweet about it
- Say no nicely, don't pull disgusted faces, or make your partner feel silly or dirty because you don't fancy something a bit bespoke. Let your partner know what you do like, and which aspects of your sex life are working for you.
- Step 5:
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Danger signs
- If your partner is very insistent or aggressive about something weird that you don't want to try, or they don't show any concern for your boundaries, or they can't reach orgasm without an unusual sexual favour - then it's time for a more serious chat. But have this chat away from the bedroom so it is objective and free from the heat of passion.......
- Good luck with that, errr, whatever it may be.
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