Showing posts with label Relationship advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship advice. Show all posts

Monday, February 2, 2009

Why Your Girlfriend Could of Left You.

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If your girlfriend has recently dumped you, you’re probably wondering what you said or did to make her leave. If you don’t figure out what happened, you’ll miss your chance to win her back. The first step to fixing your relationship problem is to know what caused the issue to come to the conclusion it came to. Keep this in mind about women:

All women have things they need in a relationship. The same holds true for men. Women want a man to make her happy, feel secure and feel loved. You want to make sure you don’t do anything that jeopardizes her sense of security. There are three things that do just that. It’s imperative that you avoid them if you want your girlfriend to stay with you.

Cheating - When you cheat, you acknowledge that something isn’t right in your relationship. However, instead of dealing with it, you decide that having an affair is the best way to handle it. Don’t do this. If there is a problem within the relationship, talk with her about your concerns. After all, how would you feel if she did it to you? If you cheated on your girlfriend, this could be the deciding factor that drove her away.

Lack of or No Attention - Women love it when their men notice things about them or actually talks and listens to them. You should know that communications with your significant other is imperative. If there is a lack of communications and she notices, she’s likely to feel unsatisfied in the relationship even if everything else is going well. Listen to her when she talks.

Lack of or No Appreciation - Women do a lot more than men tend to give them credit for. Women take their time to look good for their men so appreciate the little things you girlfriend does for you. Be sure you compliment her on her attire or how good on things she has done. Let her know that you do appreciate her doing things for you. If she doesn’t feel like she’s appreciated, she’ll question why she isn’t even trying to be with you.

While most men can figure these three things out on their own, for some, it’s isn’t as clear cut. The second and third items are the basis to making women happy. The first one is just being downright cruel to her. If you love your girlfriend, you should strive to make her happy as much as possible. If not, you may be the one tossed to the side for another guy who can make her happy and sees to her needs.

The above are the 3 possible reasons your girlfriend will not feel happy in a relationship and leave. If you want to win her back, you have to show her that you do care, appreciate and love her. It may take time but it can be done.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

How to tell if your ex is still intrested

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An ex can't generally be rooted out from life entirely. Memory is a minefield and quite many memories are attached to an ex. Warm care, affection and embraces in a past hour comes back to haunt. You wish with so much heart that you are not dead entities in their hearts. If you want to know whether your ex. is still interested in you, here are three ways to find out....

Your ex is partner-less for long- Well! Can there be a surer sign. Certainly, it's not a taboo to join immediately after a split. So if your ex is single long after losing you, it implies that your love burns inside him very strongly. It's important to understand that the pain of separation is only healed by another soul. If your partner is alone and for long, it's because he wants you or no one else.

He fulfils your most coveted wish- this is how an ex might like to show what you still mean to him. It might be anything. For instance, there might have been an art gallery you always wanted him to join and he kept delaying. So if he joins the same gallery now, rest assured he has shown through the act, how much he still feels for you. This method is an immediate source of revelation as it has a psychological ground.

Hitting on you too many times- well! This certainly can't be accidental. There has got to be a base behind it. Once is chance, twice is destiny, but thrice is enemy attack. So if you find him knocking on you accidentally at movies, shops and coffee stops, know for sure that the love that has seasoned your heart is also frying in him.

Things to Talk about with Your Girlfriend

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Talking is one of the best ways of getting to know more about someone, and talking to your girlfriend is the best way to forge tight bonds with her. It is very possible that years down the line, the two of you will remember many of the things you will say to each other in these younger days. These fond memories play an integral part in most long-running relationships.

One of the best ways of having a good, healthy and wholesome chat with your girlfriend is to start with small talk. The small talk will give you a general picture about her likes and dislikes, as well as what she would like to discuss and what she would rather leave alone. Once the small talk gives you a general idea, you can go ahead and discuss your common likes and dislikes. A wholesome chat can also end up in a decision to do something you can enjoy together. For example, a chat about the latest movie or play can actually end up in the two of you standing in queue to buy tickets for it.

As you begin to form opinions of your girlfriend during the course of conversation, she in turn does the same. Therefore, you should think carefully before speaking and taking up subjects that might be repugnant to her. Religion and politics, for example, are subjects which often don't gel well with breakfast, lunch or dinner. Unless and until you are open and ready for an active debate, those topics shouldn't be touched with a barge pole. Talking about it, however, gives you an indication of your girlfriend's political and religions leanings.

A chat is one of the best ways to express your love to your girlfriend. But you should never utter the words "I love you" unless you mean it. This is because false love is very easily found out by women. In addition, most girlfriends enjoy hearing it, but don’t make yours hear it all the time or she may begin to find the otherwise-well-meaning utterance tiresome.

Girlfriends provides detailed information about girlfriends, finding girlfriends, gifts for girlfriends, and more. Girlfriends is affiliated with Relationships.

How to Talk Dirty

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Talking dirty to the one you love (or even just the one you’re with) is one of those sexual behaviors people are uncomfortable with the first time they do it, and the first time they do it with a new partner. To do it well means letting loose and exposing yourself, which always feels scary the first time. Here are some steps to getting comfortable with dirty talk, and ideas for introducing into your sex play.
Difficulty: N/A
Time Required: Learning to talk dirty is a labor of love, it takes time!

Here's How:

  1. Be authentic in your dirty talk.
    Dirty talk can feel silly if you expect it to be what you’ve seen in the movies. You might have this idea that dirty talk is something specific. But good dirty talk is completely what you make it, and to do it well, you have to be yourself. While you may take on a role in your dirty talk (e.g. the ravished submissive) you need to find something of yourself in the role. Make a list of different aspects of your personality you can draw on for inspiration.
  2. Find your dirty talk voice.
    You need to find your own way of talking dirty. Your dirty talk might be low rhythmic grunts, high pitched squeals, or precise whispers. It might reflect the way you talk in your daily life, or it might express a different aspect of your personality. You don’t need to pick only one voice, the element of surprise can add an extra sense of anticipation, when your partner doesn’t know what they’re going to get an earful of next!
  3. Expand your dirty talk vocabulary.
    Most of us are raised not to swear. Dirty talk is your opportunity to pull out all the stops on the foul mouth express. Unless you’re role playing calls for it, avoid clinical terms (like penis). If you’re at a loss, do some research. Both of the books recommended below have lists of words. But you can do research online, by reading some raunchy erotica, or in some cases watching porn (although the dirty talk in porn tends to be unimaginative).
  4. Practice dirty talk when you're alone.
    Carol Queen, author of the highly recommended Exhibitionism for the Shy , suggests starting on your own, talking dirty while you masturbate. Fantasize about having sex with your partner and talking dirty to them. You can start by doing it in your head, but eventually do it out loud.
  5. Establish ground rules with your partner.
    One of the reasons many of us don’t talk dirty is fear of sounding ridiculous, or being put down or rejected by a partner. It’s important to set some rules when you’re willing to take risks like this. Rules like no laughing at one another, and no judgment are important. In the heat of the moment anything can come out of your mouth, and you need to know that your partner is respectful of the ways that can be exposing.
  6. Start slow the first time.
    Don’t feel you have to rush right into elaborate verbal gymnastics. A great way to start with dirty talk is to describe out loud what is happening during sex. Things like “I love the way your hand feels in my….” Or “Your …feels so good on/in my…” Describe what’s happening and how it feels in your body. You can also experiment by telling your partner something you’re going to do to them, or something you want them to do to you.
  7. Experiment with your voice.
    Most of us take for granted all the different things we can do with our voice, and the impact these changes have. Experiment with speed, how fast you talk. Some things call for a staccato barrage, while some things are best said slowly. Change the volume of your voice, try whispering, try screaming, try everything in the middle. Also play with the tenor of your voice. You can sound commanding and harsh, trembling and uncertain, and everywhere in between.
  8. Make dirty talking a two way conversation.
    Once you’ve taken the risk and initiated talking dirty with your partner, ask them to do the same. It isn’t for everyone, and you might find that you like doing it more than hearing it (or vice versa). But being on the receiving and the giving end of dirty talk can give you a different perspective on it, plus you may learn a few things from your partner you didn’t already know.
Thanks to About.com

Monday, January 12, 2009

The Top 10 Tips for First Dates

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Here is a list for the boys. There is a saying that “you never get a second chance to make a good first impression.” With that in mind, it is vital to be fully prepared to make a great impression on each date you go on. Here are 10 tips for men on dating success and making an impression that will last.

Date-1

1. Pay

Pay for everything. Don’t mention splitting the bill. If the lady suggests paying part of the bill do not accept the offer. If she insists, allow her to pay what she wishes (this is not just a rule for dating). You will be the best judge at the time whether your date is only insisting because she feels obliged.

2. Location

No movies on the first date. How can you get to know each other if you spend the majority of the time in silence? I would recommend taking your date out for dinner (no lunch dates on the first date either). Take her somewhere you feel comfortable and somewhere you can easily afford. You don’t want to be nervous all through the date that you might get stuck with a crippling bill. If price is a big concern for you, you can organize your own date in a public place (like a park or even at your own home) and prepare the meal yourself. If you can’t cook, takeaways are fine, but serve it on plates at the table and try to make an effort.

I would also suggest that you not go too overboard with the first date. Keep it simple and moderately priced. You can get extravagent on subsequent dates if things go well.

3. Manners

First off, if you are going to dinner, read the Rules for Fine Dining list; try to remember at least one or two. When you pick up your date, get out of the car and hold the door open for her. Do the same when you are letting her out of the car. If you are dining out for your first date, hold the chair out for your date and help her sit.

Don’t be late.

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4. Respect

That means not to expect anything in return! A date is not payment for future pleasures, it is a way to get to know someone to gauge compatibility. This rule also means you should not try to get your date drunk, drugged, or compromised in any other way. At the end of the date you can offer a small kiss - offer nothing else and expecting nothing back.

5. Confidence

Be confident and take charge of the evening. This does not mean you should drag your date around by the arm; be firm with your suggestions and be confident that you will have a good date and make a good impression - remember, if you were a total loser you wouldn’t be on the date in the first place.

6. Grooming

Dress appropriately for your date, and you should probably let your date know where you are planning to take her in advance so she can also dress appropriately. If you are going to the beach for a seaside dinner, dress nicely (no jeans) but don’t overdress. Similarly, if you are going to a fancy restaurant, wear a shirt and tie. Make sure your shoes are clean and polished if necessary.

Shower. Shampoo. Shave. If you have cologne, wear a little but not too much.

7. Conversation

Do not focus on yourself during the evening - ask your date questions about herself (this works in all social situations). Listen to the replies too and don’t just look for an opening to start discussing yourself. Do not talk about your job for more than a few minutes - while our own work is a fascinating subject for us, it is seldom fascinating for someone else. Be sure to compliment your date - but don’t go overboard - you will seem desperate.

Do not ever talk about dates you have had with other people or your ex-girlfriends.

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8. Timing

Don’t let your date last too long. Think of it like a good meal - you should finish your plate feeling like you want just a little more. This is the best time to finish a date. This also means that you should not plan for the date to be too far from home otherwise the travel can ruin things.

9. Gifts

It can be a very nice idea to give your date a small gift on the first date. Don’t go crazy on something expensive - just a nice little token like a single rose is fine. Keep in mind where you are going and how you plan to get there so your date does not end up being lumbered with something that she has to carry around all night. Oh - and don’t pick the rose from your dates garden - buy one.

10. Conclusion

If you enjoyed your time with your date and would like to see her again, call her and tell her so. Don’t wait too long (and definitely don’t play hard to get). Be completely honest. Having said that, if you had an awful time, you should still be honest (though not brutal). There is no point in leading someone on - it will end up badly for both of you.


Thanks to ListVerse.com

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Be a better Boyfriend Tips

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How to be a good Boyfriend

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  1. Be honest. In a mature relationship, honesty is the best policy. It may be difficult, but the truth will allow relationships to breathe. No matter what happens, no one can ever challenge the fact that you are truthful, which might mean that the other person also gives you the same respect. If something doesn't suit them let them know, otherwise they will not trust your opinion. But make it sound like a compliment. Suggest an alternative, and attach praise to the alternative. For example, if they ask you if you like something they are trying on (trying on, not already wearing at a party!) let them know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favourite so far because it shows off their great (insert a feature you appreciate, preferably not one that they are self-conscious about). It's not going to be easy to be honest and kind at the same time, so focus on learning how to give a feedback sandwich and you'll both be better off.
  2. Don't brush them off. People often find it exasperating when they get the feeling their partner treats them as an inferior in a relationship. Women are no exception. A lot of people have been taught that the only way to get attention when their partner is trying to ignore them is to act more emotional and be louder until the partner finally surrenders and pays attention to her, even if in annoyance. If people feel they're being given the cold treatment by people who are supposed to be important to them, they get worried. Especially when it happens without you giving an explanation for why this disturbance has occurred. People aren't mind readers. Your mate is not likely to be able to guess that you're cranky just because they wouldn't let you do something that they felt was very trivial, whereas you found it important. If you know that your mood might lead you to overreact, simply say "I'm feeling really irritated right now. Can we talk about this later after I cool off a bit?" (Don't forget to follow through and actually give her your time later.)
  3. Communicate. Do not talk their ear off, however make sure that if you have any problems that will affect your mood, they are made aware of the reasons for your problems and mood, so that you do not appear to merely be a fickle and cranky creature. Zone out everything around you when you're talking to them. If you ask them a question, ask them because you really want to know. For example, ask them what type of movies they enjoy, or about one of her favourites. If you know it, talk about it a little bit in an honest way, what you thought of it, and make a guess at why they might have liked it. Even if you are wrong, your mate will usually love the fact that you are interested enough to try. Remember, the opposite of talking is not waiting, it's listening. Make sure you're actually listening, not just waiting for your turn to talk. Put off a vibe that tells them that they can tell you anything. Make them feel safe.
  4. Make physical contact. Girls have much thinner skin than guys, so even a light touch is appreciated. If your girl is a romantic, upon seeing her for the first time in a couple of days, say, "I missed you so much..." and weave your ams around her hips then give her a loving hug. Don't make it last too long! A hug in public can last anywhere from 5 seconds, to a minute or two. If you have been together with your girlfriend for longer, and have kissed before, feel free to also give light kissed on her lips /cheeks / forehead/neck just to show that you really appreciate her presence. Make sure to do it in private...unless you're both ok with PDA!
  5. Give gifts as a surprise. Anyone can buy a gift for a birthday, Christmas or an anniversary. Listen to them when you are out window shopping, and if there is something they like, and it's within your price range, remember it and surprise them with it when they least expect it, for no reason at all. Or pick something up on your way home from work, and tell them you were thinking of them when you saw it. It doesn't have to be big or expensive--a book you know they will like, or a CD of their favourite band are nice gestures.
  6. Mix things up. Go to a new restaurant, try a new nightclub or go to a new part of town. Even if you both end up hating it, it's an experience you can share and that's what it's all about isn't it? Creating memories together. Surprise them by doing something offbeat--think less maudlin and more personal. This includes anything from racing them to your walking destination, dancing without music, or even bringing them a tub of LEGO and encouraging their immediate use. You two should grow to be comfortable with each other, and do things together without self-consciousness. Ideally, they should never feel stupid around you for wanting or doing a particular thing. Step out of your comfort zone. Sometimes, in order to get things going, you need to be the one to step out of the comfort zone.
  7. Compliment them sincerely. Find something particular and compliment them on it, but mean it. Don't just say, "You look nice". Say "That really makes your eyes flash", "Your hair cut really suits the shape of your face" or "That makes me want to kiss your neck" ...and then kiss their neck! The more specific you are, the more unique and appreciative the compliment.
  8. Let your partner be. Just because she is your significant other, doesn't mean she is yours, implying any kind of ownership. You can't keep this person all to yourself. You might get jealous if they talk to someone else, but if you trust them and are good to them, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. If their actions do make you feel uncomfortable, sit down and talk, again using nonviolent communication. Same goes for how they dress and look. They may not always feel like spending an hour plucking, tweezing, clipping this, applying that. Make sure they know they can relax and be themselves with you. Don't make them feel like they always have to look like a celestial being. If they're letting themselves go, so to speak, bring it up in a gentle and helpful way, like "What ever happened to your red lipstick? You have gorgeous lips, and I love it when you highlight them once in a while. It looks amazing."
  9. Take care of yourself. Don't be needy or dependent. Nothing scares someone away faster than someone they constantly need to remind to do laundry, take a shower, or get to work on time. Be hygienic and neat, set goals, and work hard. You can't be a good boyfriend if you're not a good person.
  10. Be your self, don't try to be somebody you're not because at the end of the day, if they love you they will love you for who you are.


Tips

  • Keep in mind: the road will be difficult. As in any healthy relationship, you will have your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself, and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of team work.
  • Treat them like you normally do around your friends or else they will feel like you're embarrassed to date her.
  • If she doesn't want to talk about something right away then just drop the subject. She will tell you when she is ready.


Warnings

  • If your partner sees you doing something that can be easily misinterpreted in a bad way, don't say "this isn't what you think" or "this isn't what it looks like". Hold her hand (they will pull away) then look them in the eye and tell them you love them, and that they are the only one for you, and it really wasn't what it looked like, then explain.
  • Never cheat. Realize where your heart is and stick to that. One time will be enough to convince someone to dump you.
  • Never hold their family's actions against them. No one can help what their family does or says. You can share with them that it bothers you what someone might have done or said but leave it alone after that.
  • Never tell them about something you almost did for them and then ended up not doing for whatever reason. Like saying 'I thought about getting you this gift, but changed my mind' or 'I was going to take the day off work to spend it with you and then decided it was a bad idea'. They will not think you were thoughtful, they will think you decided they weren't worth it. This is worse than an oblivious boyfriend, because it shows you know how to be romantic and what to do, but don't find them valuable enough. These thoughts are definitely best kept to yourself.
  • Don't embarrass them. Most people get embarrassed if you talk about undergarments and things like that. Remember, those sorts of things may be attractive to you, but to them they may be something they don't want to talk about. On the same idea, never tell a funny story about them without her consent, especially if they try to stop you, DO NOT CONTINUE. This will hurt their feelings, as it shows impressing your friends and making them laugh is more important to you than them not having to feel stupid.
  • Don't be too clingy. She wants her personal space just as much as you do. If she wants to hang out with her friends, or do something other than hanging out with you, let her.
Thanks to WikiHow.com Article: Click Here

How to be a better Girlfriend

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Take it slow. Don't cook a three-course meal for the first date. Don't push him to call you his girlfriend after a couple of dates. Don't start talking about marriage and children before you've even met his friends. The beginning is a precious time when you both feel like you're walking on air just because you're together. Eventually this phase will pass and you'll hit bumps in the road that will test your relationship, and during those times, you'll both look back to the memories from the beginning to remember why you're in it. So don't bring up any issues prematurely and make the beginning of your relationship stressful. Let it take its natural course. Cherish your time together--it's the only time this person will be new to you. That doesn't mean you should be an obsessive girlfriend and crave every second of his time. Relax. Be patient. Enjoy.
  1. Be honest. While being honest to your mate is very important, to the point of being paramount, it is equally important that you are honest with yourself. If you overreact or make a mistake, can you acknowledge your error and apologize. If you're feeling vulnerable or upset, can you sort through your feelings and verbalize them to him in a non-accusing way.
  2. Have a positive attitude. If everything you say around him is a criticism or an attack, he will not look forward to seeing you. However, you don't always have to agree with him just because he is your boyfriend. Tactfulness is a better strategy in mature relationships. No matter what, have a good sense of humor. Have inside jokes together. Be spontaneous. Be happy.
  3. Make your desires, needs, and opinions known, even when they may conflict with his. You don't and shouldn't exist solely to please him. Besides, showing that you are your own person with your own needs, desires, and approach to life will keep him interested in getting to know and understand you as a person. Just remember to express yourself in way that doesn't attack anyone else's opinion or lifestyle in any way--you can be humble and outspoken at the same time.
  4. Take an interest in his interests. You don't have to act like you love his hobbies, but at least try to understand why he's such a fan.
  5. Buy him simple, unexpected gifts for no special reason once in a while. The thought is always appreciated and it makes the guy feel as if you really do care and love him. Some good gift ideas could be a new music CD he's been dying to get, a teddy bear or something else that he'll really like and will be surprised by. Guys like to be surprised with little gifts too.

    • Make him something. A paper flower, an artsy heart, something creative that reflects your personality, so whenever he looks at it he'll think of you and smile.
  6. Let him live his life. If you feel entitled to all of his time and attention, learn how to not be an obsessive girlfriend. Remember that he doesn't need you for everything and that you are separate people as well as a couple. When he needs some space, don't take it personally.


Tips

  • As in any healthy relationship, you will have your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself, and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of teamwork and a symbiotic relationship, not a parasitic one where a party gives and the other one just takes without giving enough back.
  • If your boyfriend is acting passive towards you, it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you. It most likely means he is shy and has never been in a relationship before and just doesn't know how to act. To solve this problem you can talk to him about acting that way. Perhaps he's expecting you to take more initiative because you have had more experience with relationships than he has
  • Avoid having a "one track" relationship in which the bond revolves around one thing. Keep your relationship strong by bringing variety and diversity into the relationship. Try different and new things together. Relationships are about having fun together, learning together and growing together.
  • Don't let your friends try to manage your relationship. It's your relationship and no one else's. You don't have to listen to ever piece of advice from your friends if you don't want to.


Warnings

  • Don't cheat. Some girls cheat, expecting that it will cause him to pay more attention to her. It doesn't. It always backfires. Always...Not only that, but also, he will most probably tell his friends and then you will lose their respect too.
  • Don't conduct "secret tests" on your boyfriend to see what he'll do. It's humiliating, disrespectful and unfair, and you wouldn't want him to do that to you. The same goes for coercing your boyfriend with sex.
  • It's fine to share things with your girlfriends when talking about him, but remember to be respectful of him by not sharing things that are embarrassing, confidential or rude. (Don't kiss and tell!) You can keep your girlfriends "updated" on how the relationship is going, but keep them from getting involved in your relationship, unless abuse or other dangerous activities are taking place, in which case tell them everything.
  • Jealousy is a very dangerous thing. Don't intentionally make him jealous. That will result with a lot of problems and difficulties within your relationship.
  • Try to get along with his friends and family. These are most likely things that mean a lot to him, and him having good opinions about you from people he cares about will mean a lot. Try making friends with his friends, and his siblings. Make sure you're respectful to his parents, and make sure they like you. Try doing little things, like becoming close with his mom or going shopping with his sister.

Found on WikiHow.com

Be a better Girlfriend Tips

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The Top 10 Dating Mistakes for Men

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Do your girlfriends often tell you that they’re not ready for a serious relationship after only one month of dating? Do you always hear the excuse that they are too into their work or need more time to themselves? Just to let you know, you should never believe that old "it’s not you, it’s me" line, because, to be honest, it is ALWAYS you. However, the good news is that the majority of men seem to make all of the same dating mistakes, so review the following list and take a moment to honestly reflect on what you’re doing to turn women off.

1) Expecting your girlfriend to take care of you. Although it’s creepy to think about, men really do look for girlfriends who remind them of their mothers. With this comes the expectation of nurturance, which causes men to believe that a good girlfriend will take care of them they way their mother did. A woman may embrace this role temporarily, but once she becomes your long-term girlfriend, cooking and cleaning for you is going to seem like indentured servitude to her, not a component of a healthy relationship.

2) Being bad in bed. A lot of men make the mistake of not showing enough interest in their partners’ sexual needs. Many women slowly become uninterested in sex over time because they are simply not getting their needs met. At least 70% of women cannot reach climax from vaginal penetration alone, so if that’s the only thing on the menu, you can pretty much assume that your girlfriend or wife is not going to sleep satisfied. Communicate to your partner that her enjoyment is just as, if not more, important than your own, and encourage her to share what works for her during masturbation. Then - and this is important! - be willing to try out her ideas. Trust me, if she is genuinely enjoying the sex you two are having, then it will be much better for both of you.

3) Acting too immature. There are certain hobbies that all men hold on to into their adulthood, including baseball, farting, and hocking lugies. While these behaviors may be appropriate at a football tailgate, your girlfriend is not likely to be impressed if you try them on a date. Women want to date men they can marry and coparent with, so just try to clean up your act a bit when you’re around her.

4) Hitting on women in the wrong places. I am just not a fan of hitting on women while they are running their Saturday errands. Most women would rather not be bothered while they are trying to pick up a carton of milk. If you notice that a woman seems interested in you or strikes up a conversation, then by all means pursue the relationship, especially if you find yourself repeatedly bumping into her. Otherwise, it’s better to save your advances for a more welcoming environment.

5) Being too insecure. I know that you’ve heard this over and over, but I’ll say it again: the key to successful dating is confidence. If approach a woman at a bar and she seems quiet, she may just be surprised and nervous that a man is actually talking to her. If you’ve tried initiating conversation and it seems to be failing, keep yourself available to her by standing by her for a few minutes after the conversation peters out. If she’s interested, she’ll eventually start a new conversation to prevent you from leaving. Just don’t give up right away if your advances don’t seem to be working, because confidence and perseverance can be a major turn on for women.

6) Smothering her. Sometimes, men are so ecstatic to have actually gotten the girl of their dreams, all they can think about is the possibility of losing her. They then try to overcompensate by asking her on dates every night of the week and calling her 20 times a day (i.e. the movie Good Luck Chuck). In my experience, this always has the reverse affect, and chances are she’ll probably change her contact information just to get away from you. Remember the golden rule of dating: we are attracted to that which we cannot have. The less available you are, the more she’ll want you (to a point, at least).

7) Not practicing good hygiene. Have you ever wondered why your girlfriend is suddenly in the mood right after you get out of the shower? Your body may release certain "odors" throughout the day that turn her off, and these are only magnified when clothes come off and bodies come into contact. Even if you are a generally clean person, putting in a little extra effort before initiating sex can go a long way when it comes to romancing your partner.

8) Not giving online dating services a shot. The best thing about online dating websites is that the give you the chance to get to know a woman before actually meeting her. Take advantage of online matching systems and weed out women that you know have deal breakers. Consider using a professional, respected site like eHarmony if you’re serious about your search, and you’ll have hundreds of potential partners within minutes.

9) Flirting the wrong way. As a general rule, you should try to keep flirtatious conversations upbeat by talking about hobbies or events that you enjoy. If you complain, bash your ex, or put down her interests, your interaction with her will eventually take on an overall negative tone, which is obviously not the impression you want to make. If you discover as the conversation goes on that she’s not your type after all, gracefully bow out of the situation by taking a trip to the men’s room and reappearing in a different part of the room. Just remember to keep your cool and act confident, whether you actually feel that way or not.

10) Being too boring. Women want to be with men who are successful, independent, and adventurous. If your only plans on a Friday night are to wait for her phone call, she will quickly tire of being the exciting one in the relationship. Women want a man who has something to offer and can take charge once in a while. You should have enough going on in your life so that she isn’t the sole source of entertainment. Otherwise, she’ll move on to someone who can give her what she needs.

Katrianna is a staff writer and reviewer for dating sites reviewed, a popular dating blog.

The Best Dating Advice for Men

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Dating is a sort of meeting between the two persons of opposite sex. Sometimes dating can be very exasperating for men. They really find it difficult to recognize that what the women really wants from him. The dating tips mentioned below will really help out the men while taking out his passionate dating partner to any place.

  • Understand the type of women : Man have to behave according to the type of women, like if the women is extrovert and wears vulgar and sexy outfit with high makeup, that is a clear indication that the women is looking for a man with very aggressive and violent nature who can fulfill the desires of that woman. On the contrary if the women is very introvert and have a very decent sort of dressing sense, indicates that men have to be very cautious with that lady and should be very gentle, polite and start love making very slowly.
  • Praising about their beauty : Men who are always engaged in praising their beloved ladies and talking in detail with them about their beauty, gets easily attached to them and the things become very easier for them.
  • Women wants security : If the women or girl feels that she is safe and sound with you, she will be comfortable with you, and she will definitely pay for you by showing her love, which you are looking for.
  • Physical involvement : Keep in mind that a lady never makes the first move for love making. So, when the male is quite assured that lady is now comfortable with her and will not kick him off if he will touch him, them he should give her hugs and kisses. You can also hold her hand saying that “You are the most important person in my life etc.
  • Ending of the date : The ending of the particular date should be with kisses and hugs. If the kisses and hugs take place between both in the second or third dating only, then it is not at all difficult in the later dating.
Thanks to Dating Tips Online

Online Dating Tips (Video)

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Some great tips for starting online dating.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

How to make love to a Virgin

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This is a tribute to one dude in my group who lost his erection after hours of intense make-out session when the woman confessed that she is still a virgin. It may seem like a weird thing to some people, but there really are men out there who fear the V-card (virginity), or at least feel some amount of pressure when his date tells him to "pop her cherry".

First of all, let's analyze why she chose you to be the first:

  • She's comfortable with you; trusts you, even.
  • She knows you won't judge her or make fun of her status.
  • She knows you will treat her right, will be gentle with her and initiate her tenderly to the art.
  • She understands that you may be the one guy who can teach her all she needs to be a sex goddess.
  • She knows the first time will be a bit painful,but also that the pleasure you can give will outweigh the pain.
  • She wants her first time to be the best; and this means orgasms.

Pressured yet? You shouldn't be, really. A girl's first time could be a big deal to her, whether she admits it or not. However, what you must realize is that her first will be her sexual benchmark, and all her next sexual relationships (if you don't hit it off for the long term) will be compared to how you made her feel during her first time.

She might have heard her friends talk about their first time and how it sucked for them. Like the time when her friend tried to justify why she thought her first time was the best even when she did not really enjoy the sex:

No way. My first time was not lousy at all. Maybe it was not the best, it was a more than a bit painful and my boyfriend did not know the first thing about making me orgasm, but that didn’t matter AT ALL because It was with the right guy, who was loving, caring and very affectionate to me. That more than makes up for the lack of gratification; I still consider myself lucky.

Your girl doesn't buy that. She knows she deserves a good time on her first sex, and that's why she chose you. Now, she's right here in front of you, twiddling her thumb, and asking you very nicely to pop her cherry. What EXACTLY do you do?

Help her relax. Start slow by taking her clothes off piece by piece. This way, you build anticipation without scaring her. Help her relax by kneading her breasts (note that I said 'kneading' not 'grabbing')

Lose the hardcore porn (for now, at least) - She may feel more than a bit pressured when she sees the goddesses of the porn world humping and grunting and getting ass-fucked (and she knows she's not ready for that yet).

Crank up the romance - Through the haze of her pleasure, she wants to feel special. Express your approval of the things she does gently but explicitly. Don't just moan and groan; tell her she's doing a good job licking or sucking you. Better yet, walk her through the process of giving you a blowjob, and tell her she looks awesome while she's going down on you.

Hold your orgasm, but make her cum all she wants - It's all about her for now. Hold off until she's sated and smiling.

How to Get Laid (Tonight)

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Funny but true video tutorial


Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

  • Confidence
  • Charisma
  • Social Skills
  • Experience
Step1
In order to get laid, you first need to asses how you stack up on the approaching ladder. Take the quiz at the bottom to find out... Then, get mentally prepared by cleansing yourself of any excuses you might have. Typically, these include "only rich guys get laid", "you're either born with it or not" and "you need to look like a fitness model to get laid". In order to do this, just do a little study. Walk down the street, and notice the couples with the hottest girls, and then look at the kind of guys they are with (not exactly Brad Pitt, right?). Proceed by looking at the boyfriends of the most attractive female friends and acquaintances that you have. How many of them are average or below average financially? Write it down. *You do not have any attractive female friends and acquaintances? That's fine. Most normal men don't, but most men who get laid do. You actually need to invest effort into building a huge circle of female friends. Solution: Join all the social clubs and organizations that you can and start getting a cool, social life with plenty of female friends.
Step2
Now that you are mentally ready to get laid - Go to a social gathering and start "working the room". This simply means talk to and acquainting yourself with everyone there. Be charming, funny and respectful and people will love you! Just keep moving from one group to another. *Note, in other to be successful at this, you must genuinely forget about trying to get laid. You need to approach women (and everyone really) with the genuine want and only the desire to socialize and get to know people. Ironically enough, wanting and behaving like you want to get laid will repel women off of you, which at the end of the night means - *you don't get laid!"
Step3
As the night progresses and you have befriended most of the people (and women) in the place... (*without* trying to get laid, but only socializing) some of the women you had talked to to will start becoming more flirtatious and perhaps even "touchy-feely with you". These are the women that are looking to get laid.
Step4
Of the ones who have displayed this increased interest and signs that they want to get laid - pick the one you like best, and then invent an excuse for the two of you to move to a more intimate space. If this is a party it can be something like "Woah, it's so loud in here, let's continue this conversation over here" [as you take her and lead her by the hand to an empty -get laid- room] If this is in a club or some other environment, it's usually something like: "let me show you my [whatever you were talking about]", and lead her to your apartment". The rest is automatic. She'll do the rest.

Tips & Warnings

  • None of this will work to get you laid unless you have mastered basic approaching and social skills. This means, you are the kind of person who can approach any person, any where and have 90% of them smiling and laughing... which is a skill made up of the skills: approaching, public speaking, humor, working a room, confidence and charisma.
  • Each one of these skills is a learn-able skill in much the same way that you can learn how to play the guitar or speak a foreign language. In much the same way there are books, courses, organizations and groups that can teach you each of these separate skills. The get laid skill is simply a larger skill made up of these smaller ones
  • Contrary to what charlatans out there might want to sell you... you cannot make a woman want to get laid with you. As a man, you can only identify the women who have gone out with an intent (or at least the willingness) to get laid... and then provide them the opportunity to do so. Any attempt to cajole or make a woman want to have sex with you is considered sexual harassment
  • When we say giving her an "excuse" for moving to a more intimate place, we assume a 2-sided excuse. This means that both you and her know that it is only a socially sanctioned excuse for moving to a more private spot so you can get laid. When you say "It's loud here, let's go over here to continue", it must be clear to her that this is only an excuse. If you actually give the woman a false reason to moving somewhere else with an intent to trick her, then that is non-ethical. Be sure to make the difference and get laid ethnically.

Top 10 Dating Tips

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Top 10 Dating Tips

I thought I would bring you the top 10 dating tips I have gathered along the way in the hope of assisting and enlightening those who need assistance. If you are new to the dating scene, a regular or just simply someone trying to meet someone new there should always be time for top dating tips, advice, information and things to consider. None of us are dating experts otherwise we would have a magic formula to present to others. And no, looks are not the magic formula otherwise all supermodels would be blissfully happy - which they are not my friend. Good looking people the world over struggle when it comes to affairs of the heart. Think of all the major figures in history who have fallen in matters of romance.

The truth is, there are no magic formulas, no perfect tricks of the trade, no cunning ways of trapping Mr. or Miss Right and no top dating tips that wave a magic wand. But there are some essential facts that you should always bear in mind along the way. Dating tips are just that - tips, they are not promises written in stone and different things will always work differently for different people. However, I have noticed that there are some threads of advice that keep cropping up and therefore it is worth reiterating my top 10 tips here.

My Top 10 Dating Tips

  • Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, decide who you are looking for, do your research and be ready to commit to dating. Half heartedness won't work. Also prepare for some let downs along the way but don't take dating too seriously either.

  • Get your act together. Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself.

  • Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't go overboard and look like someone you are not but maybe its time to throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. People appreciate appearance.

  • Have a good think about what your dating goals are and timescales. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.

  • Sort out your confidence levels in advance. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Do all the things that will boost your confidence from avoiding negative friends (often the married ones) to attending the right kind of social functions. Couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.

  • Choose those you have a good chance of dating, don't aim low but do aim realistically. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous then good for you, but be prepared and be realistic about your chances.

  • Work out in advance where in your neighborhood you are likely to meet people and join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups, anything where you are likely to meet potential partners. The kind of partners you are looking for. I know its a cliché but you will not meet people by staying indoors.

  • Take time off from dating occasionally if its not going well or causing dating fatigue. Dating is an ongoing process and so recharging the batteries and keeping the confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. So date in phases if necessary.

  • Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not bring you a sparkle. The fact is, most people are interesting and whilst you may not be out there looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.

  • Never ever make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. In keeping with this do not sleep with your dates early on if you want them to progress, so keep sex until later. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. Peak too early and you have little left to offer and emotions may never have had the time to develop.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Top 10 Tips for Fantistic Sex

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Without going into too much detail, let me just say that these tips are tested and proven. Create incredible intimacy, passion and pleasure.

1. Affirm that you are in a committed relationship.

Anybody can have sex. To have great sex, there needs to be an understanding that the relationship is monogamous, strong and in good health. In order to attain the type of intimacy that great sex requires, trust and security are essential.

2. Communicate your likes and dislikes in a loving and considerate manner.

Understand that personal enjoyment is key to healthy sex. Each partner wants to know that they are pleasing the other. In order to keep this level of healthy enjoyment, you must communicate how much you like or dislike a particular action or activity.

3. Stay physically fit.

The studies are in! People who workout on a regular basis have better sex. Exercise increases flexibility, stamina, and strength, all of which contribute to vital, sustained pleasure. You will be amazed how much better it can be when your abs are firm.

4. Make the extra effort to do the little things which remind your partner that they are special.

Does your partner like you to dress a particular way or in a particular color? What does it hurt to give them what they want? Just make sure that the generosity is reciprocated. Often women will give and give hoping to someday get the same consideration in return. When they don't, they withdraw from their partner in resentment. Ask for what you want and make sure that there is a mutual exchange of generous behavior.

5. Don't be ashamed or embarrassed.

This is it. No matter what your history, take responsibility for what you like and enjoy and don't be embarrassed. If you are openly communicating with your partner in a committed relationship, the shame will go away. If you are concerned about how your partner may react to a fantasy you have, first discuss how your partner feels about fantasies in general. You can introduce things slowly, as you feel safe.

6. Come into the relationship as equals and maintain that healthy status.

If you don't have equality in the relationship, it will not work. This doesn't mean that you can't play dominance-submission roles under certain conditions, but those conditions must have a line of demarcation that is understood by both partners. Without mutual respect and equality, the selves in the relationship cannot be affirmed and the relationship will corrode.

7. Practice good grooming.

Do this anyway, but especially in consideration of your intimate partner.

8. Completely receive your partner. Allow them to give to you.

This is harder for most people than first reading would indicate. Many people can happily give to their partner, but have a hard time allowing someone to give to them. Learn to receive the pleasure being offered to you.

9. Enjoy yourself.

Sexual intimacy should be one of the greatest pleasures of being human. Understand that it is meant to be enjoyed and then enjoy it! No one wants to be with a partner who is merely going through the motions. Enjoy it, or don't do it.

10. Talk about it afterwards.

In as much detail as you can manage, talk about what you did. Discuss what you liked, why you liked it and how you can recreate it or improve it. You are in this together; discuss what worked and what didn't, but focus on what worked.


About the Submitter

This piece was originally submitted by Virginia L. Walz, Life Coach and founder of Empowered For Success, who can be reached at vlwalz@empoweredforsuccess.com, or visited on the web. Virginia L. Walz wants you to know: I coach personal well-being, self-care, health and balance, and creating incredible relationships.
 

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