Sunday, January 4, 2009

How to be a good Boyfriend

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  1. Be honest. In a mature relationship, honesty is the best policy. It may be difficult, but the truth will allow relationships to breathe. No matter what happens, no one can ever challenge the fact that you are truthful, which might mean that the other person also gives you the same respect. If something doesn't suit them let them know, otherwise they will not trust your opinion. But make it sound like a compliment. Suggest an alternative, and attach praise to the alternative. For example, if they ask you if you like something they are trying on (trying on, not already wearing at a party!) let them know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favourite so far because it shows off their great (insert a feature you appreciate, preferably not one that they are self-conscious about). It's not going to be easy to be honest and kind at the same time, so focus on learning how to give a feedback sandwich and you'll both be better off.
  2. Don't brush them off. People often find it exasperating when they get the feeling their partner treats them as an inferior in a relationship. Women are no exception. A lot of people have been taught that the only way to get attention when their partner is trying to ignore them is to act more emotional and be louder until the partner finally surrenders and pays attention to her, even if in annoyance. If people feel they're being given the cold treatment by people who are supposed to be important to them, they get worried. Especially when it happens without you giving an explanation for why this disturbance has occurred. People aren't mind readers. Your mate is not likely to be able to guess that you're cranky just because they wouldn't let you do something that they felt was very trivial, whereas you found it important. If you know that your mood might lead you to overreact, simply say "I'm feeling really irritated right now. Can we talk about this later after I cool off a bit?" (Don't forget to follow through and actually give her your time later.)
  3. Communicate. Do not talk their ear off, however make sure that if you have any problems that will affect your mood, they are made aware of the reasons for your problems and mood, so that you do not appear to merely be a fickle and cranky creature. Zone out everything around you when you're talking to them. If you ask them a question, ask them because you really want to know. For example, ask them what type of movies they enjoy, or about one of her favourites. If you know it, talk about it a little bit in an honest way, what you thought of it, and make a guess at why they might have liked it. Even if you are wrong, your mate will usually love the fact that you are interested enough to try. Remember, the opposite of talking is not waiting, it's listening. Make sure you're actually listening, not just waiting for your turn to talk. Put off a vibe that tells them that they can tell you anything. Make them feel safe.
  4. Make physical contact. Girls have much thinner skin than guys, so even a light touch is appreciated. If your girl is a romantic, upon seeing her for the first time in a couple of days, say, "I missed you so much..." and weave your ams around her hips then give her a loving hug. Don't make it last too long! A hug in public can last anywhere from 5 seconds, to a minute or two. If you have been together with your girlfriend for longer, and have kissed before, feel free to also give light kissed on her lips /cheeks / forehead/neck just to show that you really appreciate her presence. Make sure to do it in private...unless you're both ok with PDA!
  5. Give gifts as a surprise. Anyone can buy a gift for a birthday, Christmas or an anniversary. Listen to them when you are out window shopping, and if there is something they like, and it's within your price range, remember it and surprise them with it when they least expect it, for no reason at all. Or pick something up on your way home from work, and tell them you were thinking of them when you saw it. It doesn't have to be big or expensive--a book you know they will like, or a CD of their favourite band are nice gestures.
  6. Mix things up. Go to a new restaurant, try a new nightclub or go to a new part of town. Even if you both end up hating it, it's an experience you can share and that's what it's all about isn't it? Creating memories together. Surprise them by doing something offbeat--think less maudlin and more personal. This includes anything from racing them to your walking destination, dancing without music, or even bringing them a tub of LEGO and encouraging their immediate use. You two should grow to be comfortable with each other, and do things together without self-consciousness. Ideally, they should never feel stupid around you for wanting or doing a particular thing. Step out of your comfort zone. Sometimes, in order to get things going, you need to be the one to step out of the comfort zone.
  7. Compliment them sincerely. Find something particular and compliment them on it, but mean it. Don't just say, "You look nice". Say "That really makes your eyes flash", "Your hair cut really suits the shape of your face" or "That makes me want to kiss your neck" ...and then kiss their neck! The more specific you are, the more unique and appreciative the compliment.
  8. Let your partner be. Just because she is your significant other, doesn't mean she is yours, implying any kind of ownership. You can't keep this person all to yourself. You might get jealous if they talk to someone else, but if you trust them and are good to them, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. If their actions do make you feel uncomfortable, sit down and talk, again using nonviolent communication. Same goes for how they dress and look. They may not always feel like spending an hour plucking, tweezing, clipping this, applying that. Make sure they know they can relax and be themselves with you. Don't make them feel like they always have to look like a celestial being. If they're letting themselves go, so to speak, bring it up in a gentle and helpful way, like "What ever happened to your red lipstick? You have gorgeous lips, and I love it when you highlight them once in a while. It looks amazing."
  9. Take care of yourself. Don't be needy or dependent. Nothing scares someone away faster than someone they constantly need to remind to do laundry, take a shower, or get to work on time. Be hygienic and neat, set goals, and work hard. You can't be a good boyfriend if you're not a good person.
  10. Be your self, don't try to be somebody you're not because at the end of the day, if they love you they will love you for who you are.


Tips

  • Keep in mind: the road will be difficult. As in any healthy relationship, you will have your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself, and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of team work.
  • Treat them like you normally do around your friends or else they will feel like you're embarrassed to date her.
  • If she doesn't want to talk about something right away then just drop the subject. She will tell you when she is ready.


Warnings

  • If your partner sees you doing something that can be easily misinterpreted in a bad way, don't say "this isn't what you think" or "this isn't what it looks like". Hold her hand (they will pull away) then look them in the eye and tell them you love them, and that they are the only one for you, and it really wasn't what it looked like, then explain.
  • Never cheat. Realize where your heart is and stick to that. One time will be enough to convince someone to dump you.
  • Never hold their family's actions against them. No one can help what their family does or says. You can share with them that it bothers you what someone might have done or said but leave it alone after that.
  • Never tell them about something you almost did for them and then ended up not doing for whatever reason. Like saying 'I thought about getting you this gift, but changed my mind' or 'I was going to take the day off work to spend it with you and then decided it was a bad idea'. They will not think you were thoughtful, they will think you decided they weren't worth it. This is worse than an oblivious boyfriend, because it shows you know how to be romantic and what to do, but don't find them valuable enough. These thoughts are definitely best kept to yourself.
  • Don't embarrass them. Most people get embarrassed if you talk about undergarments and things like that. Remember, those sorts of things may be attractive to you, but to them they may be something they don't want to talk about. On the same idea, never tell a funny story about them without her consent, especially if they try to stop you, DO NOT CONTINUE. This will hurt their feelings, as it shows impressing your friends and making them laugh is more important to you than them not having to feel stupid.
  • Don't be too clingy. She wants her personal space just as much as you do. If she wants to hang out with her friends, or do something other than hanging out with you, let her.
Thanks to WikiHow.com Article: Click Here

How to be a better Girlfriend

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Take it slow. Don't cook a three-course meal for the first date. Don't push him to call you his girlfriend after a couple of dates. Don't start talking about marriage and children before you've even met his friends. The beginning is a precious time when you both feel like you're walking on air just because you're together. Eventually this phase will pass and you'll hit bumps in the road that will test your relationship, and during those times, you'll both look back to the memories from the beginning to remember why you're in it. So don't bring up any issues prematurely and make the beginning of your relationship stressful. Let it take its natural course. Cherish your time together--it's the only time this person will be new to you. That doesn't mean you should be an obsessive girlfriend and crave every second of his time. Relax. Be patient. Enjoy.
  1. Be honest. While being honest to your mate is very important, to the point of being paramount, it is equally important that you are honest with yourself. If you overreact or make a mistake, can you acknowledge your error and apologize. If you're feeling vulnerable or upset, can you sort through your feelings and verbalize them to him in a non-accusing way.
  2. Have a positive attitude. If everything you say around him is a criticism or an attack, he will not look forward to seeing you. However, you don't always have to agree with him just because he is your boyfriend. Tactfulness is a better strategy in mature relationships. No matter what, have a good sense of humor. Have inside jokes together. Be spontaneous. Be happy.
  3. Make your desires, needs, and opinions known, even when they may conflict with his. You don't and shouldn't exist solely to please him. Besides, showing that you are your own person with your own needs, desires, and approach to life will keep him interested in getting to know and understand you as a person. Just remember to express yourself in way that doesn't attack anyone else's opinion or lifestyle in any way--you can be humble and outspoken at the same time.
  4. Take an interest in his interests. You don't have to act like you love his hobbies, but at least try to understand why he's such a fan.
  5. Buy him simple, unexpected gifts for no special reason once in a while. The thought is always appreciated and it makes the guy feel as if you really do care and love him. Some good gift ideas could be a new music CD he's been dying to get, a teddy bear or something else that he'll really like and will be surprised by. Guys like to be surprised with little gifts too.

    • Make him something. A paper flower, an artsy heart, something creative that reflects your personality, so whenever he looks at it he'll think of you and smile.
  6. Let him live his life. If you feel entitled to all of his time and attention, learn how to not be an obsessive girlfriend. Remember that he doesn't need you for everything and that you are separate people as well as a couple. When he needs some space, don't take it personally.


Tips

  • As in any healthy relationship, you will have your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself, and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of teamwork and a symbiotic relationship, not a parasitic one where a party gives and the other one just takes without giving enough back.
  • If your boyfriend is acting passive towards you, it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you. It most likely means he is shy and has never been in a relationship before and just doesn't know how to act. To solve this problem you can talk to him about acting that way. Perhaps he's expecting you to take more initiative because you have had more experience with relationships than he has
  • Avoid having a "one track" relationship in which the bond revolves around one thing. Keep your relationship strong by bringing variety and diversity into the relationship. Try different and new things together. Relationships are about having fun together, learning together and growing together.
  • Don't let your friends try to manage your relationship. It's your relationship and no one else's. You don't have to listen to ever piece of advice from your friends if you don't want to.


Warnings

  • Don't cheat. Some girls cheat, expecting that it will cause him to pay more attention to her. It doesn't. It always backfires. Always...Not only that, but also, he will most probably tell his friends and then you will lose their respect too.
  • Don't conduct "secret tests" on your boyfriend to see what he'll do. It's humiliating, disrespectful and unfair, and you wouldn't want him to do that to you. The same goes for coercing your boyfriend with sex.
  • It's fine to share things with your girlfriends when talking about him, but remember to be respectful of him by not sharing things that are embarrassing, confidential or rude. (Don't kiss and tell!) You can keep your girlfriends "updated" on how the relationship is going, but keep them from getting involved in your relationship, unless abuse or other dangerous activities are taking place, in which case tell them everything.
  • Jealousy is a very dangerous thing. Don't intentionally make him jealous. That will result with a lot of problems and difficulties within your relationship.
  • Try to get along with his friends and family. These are most likely things that mean a lot to him, and him having good opinions about you from people he cares about will mean a lot. Try making friends with his friends, and his siblings. Make sure you're respectful to his parents, and make sure they like you. Try doing little things, like becoming close with his mom or going shopping with his sister.

Found on WikiHow.com

Be a better Girlfriend Tips

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The Top 10 Dating Mistakes for Men

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Do your girlfriends often tell you that they’re not ready for a serious relationship after only one month of dating? Do you always hear the excuse that they are too into their work or need more time to themselves? Just to let you know, you should never believe that old "it’s not you, it’s me" line, because, to be honest, it is ALWAYS you. However, the good news is that the majority of men seem to make all of the same dating mistakes, so review the following list and take a moment to honestly reflect on what you’re doing to turn women off.

1) Expecting your girlfriend to take care of you. Although it’s creepy to think about, men really do look for girlfriends who remind them of their mothers. With this comes the expectation of nurturance, which causes men to believe that a good girlfriend will take care of them they way their mother did. A woman may embrace this role temporarily, but once she becomes your long-term girlfriend, cooking and cleaning for you is going to seem like indentured servitude to her, not a component of a healthy relationship.

2) Being bad in bed. A lot of men make the mistake of not showing enough interest in their partners’ sexual needs. Many women slowly become uninterested in sex over time because they are simply not getting their needs met. At least 70% of women cannot reach climax from vaginal penetration alone, so if that’s the only thing on the menu, you can pretty much assume that your girlfriend or wife is not going to sleep satisfied. Communicate to your partner that her enjoyment is just as, if not more, important than your own, and encourage her to share what works for her during masturbation. Then - and this is important! - be willing to try out her ideas. Trust me, if she is genuinely enjoying the sex you two are having, then it will be much better for both of you.

3) Acting too immature. There are certain hobbies that all men hold on to into their adulthood, including baseball, farting, and hocking lugies. While these behaviors may be appropriate at a football tailgate, your girlfriend is not likely to be impressed if you try them on a date. Women want to date men they can marry and coparent with, so just try to clean up your act a bit when you’re around her.

4) Hitting on women in the wrong places. I am just not a fan of hitting on women while they are running their Saturday errands. Most women would rather not be bothered while they are trying to pick up a carton of milk. If you notice that a woman seems interested in you or strikes up a conversation, then by all means pursue the relationship, especially if you find yourself repeatedly bumping into her. Otherwise, it’s better to save your advances for a more welcoming environment.

5) Being too insecure. I know that you’ve heard this over and over, but I’ll say it again: the key to successful dating is confidence. If approach a woman at a bar and she seems quiet, she may just be surprised and nervous that a man is actually talking to her. If you’ve tried initiating conversation and it seems to be failing, keep yourself available to her by standing by her for a few minutes after the conversation peters out. If she’s interested, she’ll eventually start a new conversation to prevent you from leaving. Just don’t give up right away if your advances don’t seem to be working, because confidence and perseverance can be a major turn on for women.

6) Smothering her. Sometimes, men are so ecstatic to have actually gotten the girl of their dreams, all they can think about is the possibility of losing her. They then try to overcompensate by asking her on dates every night of the week and calling her 20 times a day (i.e. the movie Good Luck Chuck). In my experience, this always has the reverse affect, and chances are she’ll probably change her contact information just to get away from you. Remember the golden rule of dating: we are attracted to that which we cannot have. The less available you are, the more she’ll want you (to a point, at least).

7) Not practicing good hygiene. Have you ever wondered why your girlfriend is suddenly in the mood right after you get out of the shower? Your body may release certain "odors" throughout the day that turn her off, and these are only magnified when clothes come off and bodies come into contact. Even if you are a generally clean person, putting in a little extra effort before initiating sex can go a long way when it comes to romancing your partner.

8) Not giving online dating services a shot. The best thing about online dating websites is that the give you the chance to get to know a woman before actually meeting her. Take advantage of online matching systems and weed out women that you know have deal breakers. Consider using a professional, respected site like eHarmony if you’re serious about your search, and you’ll have hundreds of potential partners within minutes.

9) Flirting the wrong way. As a general rule, you should try to keep flirtatious conversations upbeat by talking about hobbies or events that you enjoy. If you complain, bash your ex, or put down her interests, your interaction with her will eventually take on an overall negative tone, which is obviously not the impression you want to make. If you discover as the conversation goes on that she’s not your type after all, gracefully bow out of the situation by taking a trip to the men’s room and reappearing in a different part of the room. Just remember to keep your cool and act confident, whether you actually feel that way or not.

10) Being too boring. Women want to be with men who are successful, independent, and adventurous. If your only plans on a Friday night are to wait for her phone call, she will quickly tire of being the exciting one in the relationship. Women want a man who has something to offer and can take charge once in a while. You should have enough going on in your life so that she isn’t the sole source of entertainment. Otherwise, she’ll move on to someone who can give her what she needs.

Katrianna is a staff writer and reviewer for dating sites reviewed, a popular dating blog.

The Best Dating Advice for Men

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Dating is a sort of meeting between the two persons of opposite sex. Sometimes dating can be very exasperating for men. They really find it difficult to recognize that what the women really wants from him. The dating tips mentioned below will really help out the men while taking out his passionate dating partner to any place.

  • Understand the type of women : Man have to behave according to the type of women, like if the women is extrovert and wears vulgar and sexy outfit with high makeup, that is a clear indication that the women is looking for a man with very aggressive and violent nature who can fulfill the desires of that woman. On the contrary if the women is very introvert and have a very decent sort of dressing sense, indicates that men have to be very cautious with that lady and should be very gentle, polite and start love making very slowly.
  • Praising about their beauty : Men who are always engaged in praising their beloved ladies and talking in detail with them about their beauty, gets easily attached to them and the things become very easier for them.
  • Women wants security : If the women or girl feels that she is safe and sound with you, she will be comfortable with you, and she will definitely pay for you by showing her love, which you are looking for.
  • Physical involvement : Keep in mind that a lady never makes the first move for love making. So, when the male is quite assured that lady is now comfortable with her and will not kick him off if he will touch him, them he should give her hugs and kisses. You can also hold her hand saying that “You are the most important person in my life etc.
  • Ending of the date : The ending of the particular date should be with kisses and hugs. If the kisses and hugs take place between both in the second or third dating only, then it is not at all difficult in the later dating.
Thanks to Dating Tips Online

Online Dating Tips (Video)

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Some great tips for starting online dating.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Male your own cyberskin

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Step 1: Fill up a bag
Take a small plastic bag and fill it with lube. Trust us, this is better than cyberskin.

Step 2: Love your couch
Place it between the cushions of your couch or between your mattress and box spring, get on your knees and pump away!
 

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